Tryout Season: A Parent-to-Parent Guide to a Confusing Year

Tryouts are stressful. The phone doesn’t ring, the group chats are full of speculation, and somehow your kid’s coach has gone silent. We’ve all been there — many times. This is the article we wish someone had handed us our first tryout season.

This year there’s an added wrinkle: most clubs are switching from birth-year to school-year age groupings. Here’s what’s actually going on, and — more importantly — what’s worth caring about and what isn’t.

Why your club hasn’t told you anything yet

If you’re sitting on Day 3 of tryouts wondering why no one will tell you which team your kid is on, here’s the answer from the other side of the fence: they don’t know yet, and they shouldn’t.

Tryouts are a sorting process, and sorting only works once everyone has been seen. A few things parents often don’t realize:

•       Coaches need to evaluate every player at an age group before placing anyone.

•       Roster sizes depend on who shows up. They can’t finalize a 16-player team if 14 register and 22 try out.

•       Some players move up an age group, others move down — and every move shifts who lands where.

•       Clubs try to coordinate across age groups so siblings, carpools, and training schedules work.

If a club tells you on Day 1 exactly where your kid will land, that’s a red flag — it usually means the decision was made before the evaluation.

So when you don’t hear anything for a week: that’s not a bad sign. That’s the system working.

The big change this year: school year, not birth year

US Soccer is moving back to school-year age groupings (Aug 1 – Jul 31) after roughly a decade of birth-year (Jan 1 – Dec 31). Most clubs are following.

What this means in practice:

•       Most kids will play with their school classmates again.

•       Kids born in late summer or early fall are the ones most likely to shift age groups compared to last year.

•       Some players you’ve practiced with for years may now be in a different bracket. That’s the calendar, not a coaching decision.

This is not a downgrade or a promotion. It’s a calendar change. The U.S. is realigning with how schools, leagues, and the rest of the youth sports world organize kids. Expect a one-year adjustment as teams reshape — and expect some chaos. Everybody is working through it.

Select vs. National: what’s actually different?

If your kid is being looked at for a “national” team, or you’re trying to figure out whether to push for one, the honest framing is this: it’s about scope, travel, and commitment — not about who’s “better” as a person or athlete.

Select teams typically:

•       Play in a regional or state league.

•       Travel locally — most games within an hour or two.

•       Train 2x/week, play games most weekends in season.

•       Are the right home for the majority of competitive players.

National-level teams (ECNL, MLS Next, GA, and similar) typically:

•       Play in a national league with travel to other states.

•       Train 3–4x/week, with longer seasons and showcases.

•       Are aimed at players targeting college recruitment or higher pathways.

•       Cost more, demand more, and require buy-in from the whole family — including siblings whose weekends will get hijacked.

A great Select player isn’t a “lesser” player. And being on a National team isn’t a guarantee of a college scholarship — those numbers are tiny no matter what tier your kid plays at. Fit matters more than the label on the jersey.

Why there are A, B, and sometimes C teams at the same age

Most competitive clubs field more than one team at a given age — labeled A/B/C, or by names like Premier, Elite, and Academy. New parents often read this as a ranking system that determines their kid’s soccer future. It isn’t.

Here’s why multiple teams at the same age is a feature, not a flaw:

•       Players grow fastest playing with kids at their level. The weakest player on a team often regresses; the strongest one stops being challenged.

•       More teams means more kids playing. If clubs only fielded an A team, they’d cut dozens of kids who deserve to keep playing.

•       Teams move. Players move up between teams from season to season — and sometimes within them — as they develop.

If your child lands on a B or C team, that’s not a verdict on their future. It’s a snapshot of where they are right now, and usually the right environment for them to keep growing. Some of the players who go furthest started on the lower team and earned their way up.

What we wish we’d focused on as new soccer parents

Looking back across years of tryouts, car rides, sideline conversations, and the occasional cry in the parking lot, here’s what actually matters:

1.     Is your kid having fun? This is the single biggest predictor of whether they’ll still be playing at 16. Burnout from over-pressured early years is the #1 reason kids quit.

2.     Are they playing with kids at their level? Slightly stretched is good. Drowning is bad. Coasting is bad.

3.     Are they getting playing time? A bench seat on the A team is usually worse for development than starting on the B team.

4.     Do they like their coach? A good coach at the “lower” team can outweigh a famous-name coach who barely knows their name.

5.     Is the schedule sustainable for your family? Tournaments three weekends a month wreck families. Be honest about what you can do — and what your other kids deserve.

Things to avoid (we’ve all done at least one of these)

•       Don’t compare your child’s placement to other kids on social media or the sideline.

•       Don’t pressure coaches during tryouts. It doesn’t help your child, and they notice.

•       Don’t make placement a referendum on your child’s worth. They’re 9. Or 11. Or 14. They’re still becoming.

•       Don’t make it about you. The hardest, most useful question to ask yourself: am I upset for them, or am I upset for me?

When you’ll actually hear back

Most clubs send placements within 5–10 days of the final tryout session. If you haven’t heard by then, contact the age group director or club administrator — not the head coach mid-evaluation. They’re not hiding anything; they’re sorting carefully so they get it right.